I have never been famous for my photogenic qualities and so have tended to avoid the camera. The following mugshots in chronological order give you some idea why...
1959: I believe that this is the first recorded image of me. The knitted bonnet is priceless
1962: This must be the second. Not sure how old I am here, about 4 I guess. I look like a nice enough kid but like most nice kids, I grew up into something less than lovely. So unlovely that I can find no photographs of me between the ages of 4 and I guess about 16.
1975: I was an odd child at school...
1976: ...and even more peculiar by the time I became an undergraduate.
1977: I was 20 when I got my first motorbike, a BSA Bantam D14-4. It was a gutless old nail that slowly vibrated itself into pieces.
1980: Really showing my age here, DJ Kev-E-Kev posing with 7 inch vinyl! A prize for the first person to tell me what record I am holding.
1988: Never managed to win any motocross races but did quite well in enduro.
1993: I appear to be enjoying myself in this picture from the Ravescene Yearbook. The more observant amongst you will see that I am performing a variation on the 'Pointy Dance' as popularised by the notorious Antoine de Caunes. (Note the glow in the dark whistle - essential party equipment at the time...err no, I didn't have any Vics on me)
1995: My first expiriment with face fungus led to my 'Ming the Merciless' phase.
1996: Getting down with my finny friends.
1997: Man at work on a rainy day in May. No, I did have an office, I didn't usually work on the roof! Some people (no names, no pack drill) think that this picture makes me look fat. So just for the record, I weighed in at about 170 pounds which at six foot tall made me tolerably thin and gorgeous. So I should have converting another 10 pounds of sagging lard into rippling muscle but there's more to life than pecs and six packs.
2001: Photo taken at a World Cup gathering - not that I have any interest in football but this image extracted from a group Polaroid is, I think, recognisably the same person in the black and white picture of me aged about 4... or is it just my imagination... now showing worrying fixation on appearance.
2003: Not as worrying as that Errol style moustache. I cultivated it as a bit of a joke but discovered that it had a pronounced effect on people... so I hung onto it just to see the look of horror on everyone's face.
2004: Not exactly a mugshot but a nice shot of me on the beach at Koh Muk, boxing day. Guess what happened next.
2007: A sunny day at the Cutty Sark is enough to put a smile on anyone's face
2009: Man hard at work in the office annexe. (It's a tough life in academia, you need to get your liver into training)
2011: Vacations in Turkey offer singular delights
Passport photos
Why do passport photo's always make me look like some hideous Dr Moreau style cross between dork and ploker?
Above is my first passport... hard to believe that this wide-eyed waif really is me aged 26 - scary!
I seem to have put on some weight for my next passport
It was a wet day in January when I stumbled into the photo-me booth in Greewich for my 2005 passport. The result looks like the sort of chap one would not want to sit next to on an aeroplane... in fact I wouldn't even want to be on the same plane as this man.
